For three and a half years we waited. Impatient, stubborn, hopeful and defeated. Emotions were always high around court dates. I am certain the court system has taken years off my life! Why should a child have to live in limbo for years? Why should a little girl have to worry that her biological brother would be returned to an unsafe situation? I can vividly remember praying, “I don’t know what you’re trying to teach me God, but I promise to be more patient……Can we move on to another lesson?” “God, please, show up in this court room. Speak through our attorney, our child’s attorney. Give this judge wisdom.” On and on the prayers went, pleading with God.
Please don’t misunderstand our journey of fostering. Our hope is always that a parent finds healing, that relationships are restored and most of all that God is glorified. We have fostered over 40 children. We have watched God’s plan unfold in ways we could not explain. We have seen reunifications, beautiful reunifications. We’ve seen lives restored and families renewed. Our intentions are not to adopt, until the case is devastating. In this case, it started out this way.
My waiting is no comparison to what a parent goes through when their child is removed. I would never compare it to that. It is a different situation, however, when you are parenting a child that is a biological sibling to your child. There is an immediate connection and the bond is easily formed. This is our story with our youngest. I was there the day he was born, hopeful that mom may get to parent him. When DHS removed, I thought there may be a safety plan in place, but time and time again mom was not ready to parent him. Some of the barriers were not her fault, others were. I don’t doubt that she loves her children, most every parent loves their own flesh and blood. I mourn for her. I mourn the loss of her own childhood, and grieve the fact that she wasn’t ever given much of an opportunity, and when she was, it was too late. Most of all, I mourn for my son. As he grows, I know he will have lots of questions and I won’t always have the answers.
But, today I will choose joy. I am joyful that he gets to grow up with his sister. I am joyful that he calls me mom and Clint dad. I am hopeful that he will grow up to know Christ and to follow him. I am thankful that he is connected and bonded to all of his siblings. And, I am joyful that there will be no more worrying about his future. His future is secure in Christ and his future is secure on earth. Within the next couple of months, he will be a Lile, and for that, we are forever grateful.